Social Media – A Child’s Emotional Rollercoaster

17 Oct Social Media – A Child’s Emotional Rollercoaster

Social Media – A Child’s Emotional Rollercoaster
The rapid increase of our digital culture has a profound effect on the children of today. They struggle to manage the constant connectedness of social media, and then experience a wide range of emotions that they may not be prepared to handle.

I worked with a sixteen year old male client who was brought in by his mother because he had had a panic attack at school. It left him “curled up on the floor in the hallway shaking like a leaf.” He was a top scholar and athlete. The cause of his attack: he forgot and left his cell phone at home that day. From his perspective, his whole life was based on his online relationships. Without his phone, he was nothing. It took a lot of reframing his belief systems to focus on a more effective way of communicating and relating to his friends.

Another client, a seven year old girl, was brought in by her parents because she was having raging temper tantrums and hurting herself in the process. The problem: she didn’t have a cell phone and “all of her friends” did have one. Her parents, trying to act responsibly and, truthfully, not able to afford the cost of a cell phone had told her she had to wait until she was at least ten years old. This edict caused her to act out in school and her grades suffered as a consequence. I was not able to help her with only one session because her parents were in the process of being evicted. But this does illustrate some of the unintended consequences of so much emphasis on social media as a way for children to relate with one another.

A recent article in the Wall Street Journal by clinical psychologist, Dr. Mary Pipher, warns that too much social media can lead to depression and anxiety. As I have noted previously, depression is living in the past and anxiety is living in the future. Pipher notes that adolescent girls are especially vulnerable today because they aren’t as self-sufficient as their predecessors, and are less likely to have a driver’s license, work outside the home, or even date. The possession of a smart phone has become the connection to their outside world. They react emotionally to every post or ping of the phone and are subject to greater mood swings as a result.

The solutions seem fairly simple: turn off the phone more and engage in family and social activities that encourage one-on-one and group interaction. Pipher recommends girls make pacts with their friends to unplug during specific time periods so that none will suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out).

Parents and family members need to be actively involved in helping to create positive social interaction too. It is only through the willingness to talk and work through life’s challenges that we learn and grow.

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